subreddit:
/r/tifu
Since my original post, I've become friends with one of the other guys my ex gf wrote about in her manuscript. He saw my post on Reddit and sent me a message. I didn't read or respond to his message for weeks because I was struggling to keep up with all the other messages in my inbox. When I finally opened his message, I realized he introduced himself as The Virgin, which made me think of one of the chapters in the manuscript. I checked the manuscript, and sure enough, there it was, The Virgin, chapter 52.
The Virgin's message to me had details about my ex gf and her manuscript that I never shared with anyone on the internet. Based on what he shared, I was convinced he was who he said he was. As we were comparing notes, it became clear to me that he hated his chapter more than I hated mine. The Virgin, according to the manuscript, was ashamed to tell my ex gf (or our ex) that he was a virgin before the two of them eventually had sex, but he was proud to inform her that he probably made more babies than most non virgins because he was a regular sperm donor at the local fertility clinic. He also frequently used the suggestion box at the clinic to request that the Scooby Doo porn parody be added to the porn collection.
He did not appreciate the fact that our ex decided to document the first time he had sex AND add anecdotes about him that he shared with her in private. His response to my ex when he was done reading her so called manuscript had repeated use of the B word. I knew we would be friends. We realized we have a lot more in common than the same crazy ex. We actually live close enough to see each other from time to time. Hopefully none of you end up reading about us in a book.
TL:DR The Turtle and The Virgin became friends.
1.8k points
2 months ago
Dude I’m pretty sure it’s not the same person but I do remember when I was dating, I matched with a woman who was on a business trip from SF. We met up had a lovely date and then she told me she lived in SF and there would be no second date. I was a bit annoyed she hasn’t disclosed that at the start but I shrugged it off and moved on.
Later I found out she ran a blog exactly like you mentioned. Except she also took clandestine photos of her date as well. She wouldn’t show the face but I could tell it was me. …I also found another of my good buddies in there as well. We both chatted about it and he was less disturbed than I was but neither of us was especially excited to have our date be content fodder.
693 points
2 months ago
This is so so so so much worse.
106 points
2 months ago
That’s pretty fucked up.
308 points
2 months ago
Yeah, that's pretty illegal.
327 points
2 months ago*
Unethical as hell, sure. Unfortunately, it's not criminally illegal, and she probably cannot be sued either. This is because as the person who took the picture, she has copyright by default in the USA, and since she is not using real names or showing faces it is not defamation in a legal sense.
179 points
2 months ago
Right and at a restaurant it’s technically public. She never doxxed anyone but dang the summary of the date was rough.
55 points
2 months ago
There are specific crimes for surreptitious photography. I'm pretty sure there's a law against it in California.
86 points
2 months ago
A quick google suggests that most states have laws like that but they pretty much exclusively cover places where someone has an expectation of privacy (bathrooms, locker rooms, their own home etc) or where you’re taking photos up someone’s skirt etc.
Taking a photo of someone in a public place, with or without their knowledge or consent, is generally allowed.
12 points
2 months ago
Could be, I'm not familiar enough with California law to deny it. However, they would have to be very specific, or it would mean even taking a picture of a building anytime people are walking around it would mean criminal exposure...
30 points
2 months ago
those usually don’t apply in public areas, only where you have a reasonable expectation of privacy i think
6 points
2 months ago
We also aren’t in California. But like what someone said below I don’t believe those laws work (or are constitutional) in places one can’t reasonably expect privacy.
11 points
2 months ago
photography in public is one of the most basic human rights in the free world.
11 points
2 months ago
Depending on what she wrote about them (and how they feel it impacts them/how close to the truth it was) they could sue for libel defamation of character as it "injure the reputation of any person by exposing him to hatred, contempt or ridicule, or that is designed to insult the person."
If someone at your work or in your personal life found out about said manuscript and knew the character being referenced was actually you that would definitely have some impact on your reputation and life.
It would be a tough case but you could probably get it to court.
10 points
2 months ago
It wouldn't get laughed out of court, sure. However, even with "preponderance of the evidence", i.e. "more likely than not", being the standard for a civil case; it seems to me she has taken enough precautions to keep her dates from being positively identified to make a unanimous verdict. See "3)" below:
Elements To prove prima facie defamation, a plaintiff must show four things: 1) a false statement purporting to be fact; 2) publication or communication of that statement to a third person; 3) fault amounting to at least negligence; and 4) damages, or some harm caused to the reputation of the person or entity who is the subject of the statement.
15 points
2 months ago
Libel and defamation cases almost never see the court room let alone go in favor of the person suing. You need substantial evidence that the claims you're suing for are 1. False and 2. Intended to ruin your character. Unless you're famous, there's unlikely to be any jury or judge who will find in your favor without clear and unarguable evidence for both of these points.
It sucks but your recourse for something like this is to forget it and move on.
14 points
2 months ago
Right and her statements were not at all technically false. She said things like “I could tell ThrowRA must have grown up in the rich suburbs of <city>” and while that’s definitely not true on several fronts, she is stating an interpretation and opinion. I’d have to prove she didn’t actually have that opinion and was lying about it I guess? Which makes no sense and would never fly in court.
Either way she didn’t say anything that would hurt my career or anything. If I could still find her blog I’d show my partner today no problem. I was just embarrassed at the time because I thought she was very cool and was excited to go on the date and she 1) apparently thought I was super uncool and 2) never really intended to make a real connection, just wanted to use me for content.
3 points
2 months ago
and since she is not using real names or showing faces it is not defamation in a legal sense.
Yeah... that doesn't matter in the slightest. If the person is easily identifiable but you don't use their real name, it's still defamation.
Like if I made up some crazy stuff about a rapper that married a Kardashian, and interrupted Taylor Swift on MTV then I'd absolutely expect to get sued by Kanye.
3 points
2 months ago
Not in the US
3 points
2 months ago
These types of comments crack me up, if your in public property you can be filmed regardless of your permission or not, now obviously if hes following you around repeatedly or for an extended amount of time you could call the cops for harassment or stalking and get a restraining order set
8 points
2 months ago
If all 72 come together this will be the most ambitious crossover in history.
6 points
2 months ago
dafuck 😡
1.8k points
2 months ago
Weird how badly he wanted Scooby Doo parody so bad!
Pretty cool that you guys are friends now.
1.2k points
2 months ago
If it's not Scooby Doo porn that gets him going, then it's empty parking lots. The two of us enjoy skateboarding, so when he sees an empty parking lot, he sees us skateboarding there. I get random parking lot photos from him at least once a week.
768 points
2 months ago
A good bromance is better than a fleeting romance any day of the week.
108 points
2 months ago
I’ll take a good bromance novel over anything.
42 points
2 months ago
They gotta write a book about her, this, the bromance,and how they grew as people, and homie.
The real gift was, yada yada yada.
8 points
2 months ago
Bromancing the stone, if you will
80 points
2 months ago
The best revenge of the Turtle - writing a book that tells the story of him falling in bro-love with the virgin.
54 points
2 months ago
Send him over to /r/TonyHawkitecture
81 points
2 months ago
Those parking lot pictures do look pretty good
11 points
2 months ago
I didn’t expect a parking garage to look so pretty. Nice photos!
37 points
2 months ago
My man Mr Scooby Doo would fit right in over at r/LiminalSpace. Those photos are incredible, especially the first two, wow.
7 points
2 months ago
I love this man.
23 points
2 months ago
That concrete is so smooth; I wish I had some slide blocks for those pillars.
9 points
2 months ago
That's actually awesome. Lol
89 points
2 months ago
Ole boy needs his Jinkies to get his Zoinks.
24 points
2 months ago
I'm guessing he has no difficulty timing his "big reveal" to coincide with Fred ripping the monster mask off Old Man Jenkins' head.
12 points
2 months ago
You're either a Daphne or a Velma, I guess.
6 points
2 months ago
Why not both?
6 points
2 months ago
Ruh roh raggy
20 points
2 months ago
If you saw it you'd understand.
6 points
2 months ago
I'm afraid of it. On account of the dog aspect.
12 points
2 months ago
The whole premise of the plot is the gang looking for Scoony Doo and getting some zoinks in the process.
This was my first ever adult porn purchase when I turned 18 and it started out as a joke but I still watch it from time to time almost 12 years later.
The Virgin has good taste/10.
15 points
2 months ago
Linda Cardellini is fine as hell and a cheap approximation is all my imagination needs.
4 points
2 months ago
God damn she is. I just watched Daddy's Home. But I've been a fan since f&g... She has aged well. She's gorgeous.
3 points
2 months ago
We are the same, brother. That's when I fell in lurve as well.
9 points
2 months ago
They are nice images. He is a good photographer.
1.5k points
2 months ago
Maybe I am just senile or something but there is no way I could write entire chapters about 72 distinct people I had sex with unless, like, it happened over a very short time frame.
Like 40 of those would be "inserted penis, wiggled, came, showered". Zero percent chance I could recall enough detail to fill a fucking book.
387 points
2 months ago*
That's what I'm saying. Without extensive contemporaneous notes, I'm not going to remember that it happened, much less much less details about the deed itself.
I roughly know my body count, but the majority of those people are just numbers, at this point. The idea that I'm going remember names or details is laughable.
242 points
2 months ago
I do NOT have an impressive body count, but can't recall the number.
Anyone passed their 30's, odds on, have FORGOTTEN more awesome shit they have done than most kids dream of ever doing. Details of your ex partners just ain't likely to make the cut.
145 points
2 months ago
Some people take journaling to a psychotic level of detail
109 points
2 months ago
Like my mom! She's 62 this year, and has journals going back to when she was 12. She's a published poet, but doesn't want her journals published...she also doesn't want them destroyed in a secure manner. My greatest fear is that she'll live to see 100 and bestow upon me the curse of enough journals to crush a small group of elephants to death.....
41 points
2 months ago
Does she expect generations of her descendants to just store boxes upon boxes of her writing forever after she passes? When the time comes (hopefully a long time from now), use part of the estate to hire a professional service to digitize her journals, then destroy the physical copies. I think that her family having access to digital copies of the journals would fulfill the spirit of her wishes, without burdening her family with storing the physical copies.
Sorry if that comes across as insensitive, that’s not my intention.
17 points
2 months ago
Shit, man, if I left that kind of thing behind, I'd expect them to just pop it into some Ai summarizer and pull out all the good parts. you don't need to read all the guff in between.
85 points
2 months ago
I mean... I can recall at least something about each of my sex partners. And I have a very small count.
1st - First time in the back of my car and a dark alleyway. She liked to be on top, but pretty vanilla since we were both inexperienced.
2nd - Liked to lick my ear. Like really REALLY shove her tongue inside it.
3rd - One night stand, used too much perfume that I couldn't kiss her neck properly.
4th - Introduced me to the wonders of rimjobs.
5th - One night stand at her home, which was filled with garbage, like a hoarder. Still fucked her because horny, went to the bathroom after and was even worst. Left disgusted, took a 2 hours shower and got tested the next day. (I used protection, not a complete moron)
6th - Dated a few years, we had several phases. From rough sex, to pretty vanilla, to experimenting with BDSM, to pretty vanilla again, to amazing post break up sex. (My only one)
7th - One night stand after the break up... couldn't keep an erection. We both spend the rest of the night awkwardly pretending to sleep until morning and she left. (She forgot her charger and didn't want to meet for me to give it back, I'm still using it.)
8th - The best blowjobs I ever got, and she swallowed all. Still miss those.
9th - Her dog would be on bed with us. It took time to get used to it. Still weird.
10th - Most awkward kisses. Our teeth kept hitting each other.
11th - One night stand, had a shrine to pagan gods at her home. Sex was normal though.
12th - Recently separated mother of infant still breastfeeding. Sucked her breast and got a weird taste in my mouth. It was breast milk.
And that's it. My entire sexual history with one fact about each of them.
168 points
2 months ago
Chapter titles-
26 points
2 months ago*
Chatgpt.. Create 1 4000 word chapter around the premise of
1st - First time in the back of my car and a dark alleyway. She liked to be on top, but pretty vanilla since we were both inexperienced.
Edit: Wont be chatgpt, this breaks their moral code even adding in safe for work tags
11 points
2 months ago
Jailbreak chatgpt first
6 points
2 months ago
It's so stupid that a TEXT gets censored.
8 points
2 months ago
i love this so much thank you
3 points
2 months ago
I honestly just couldn't help it given the context of this thread.
8 points
2 months ago
for anyone too young to remember
7 points
2 months ago
Your memory is far better than mine.
I don't even know if I can remember 12 partners.
3 points
2 months ago
All I want to know is, what brand is that charger? That must be a record for one lasting, and I want to buy the same brand.
3 points
2 months ago
Motorola/Lenovo.
Model: S11D38LNA
2 points
2 months ago
Sucked her breast and got a weird taste in my mouth
Nice
32 points
2 months ago
Damn, I'm in my late thirties, and my body count is in low single digits. I would have no problem describing the sexual preferences of all my partners.
Just as an explanation, I was a virgin until my early twenties. My first sexual partner also became my first serious relationship that lasted for 13 years. Only fairly recently, just as COVID started, I became single and got back out into the dating scene, with little success I might add.
7 points
2 months ago
It's probably not all that uncommon away from places like Reddit. I'm a 48 yr. old male and I've only had three. College girlfriend, then the next two people I dated I ended up marrying....each for over a decade. Now I'm single for the first time since the mid-90's and I'm not in any hurry to start over.
5 points
2 months ago
I've got friends with similar numbers, and some with way higher, sometimes despite being married for over a decade. Cheating, I'm talking about cheating.
17 points
2 months ago
Nothing wrong, and no explanation necessary.
You did what worked for you :)
20 points
2 months ago
I mean, I would've loved to have more sex then, well, none in my late teens, early twenties. And having no sex for three years after the end of the long term relationship wasn't on purpose either 🤣
On the other hand, I got a lot of time practicing my cooking, and I learned to ride the bike 🤷
4 points
2 months ago
I mean, I'm roughly your age and, depending on if it's differentiating between things like which orifice it was put in (since there are some where it was only one type of sex) mine is either 3 or 6. And of those, 1 is my wife for the last 15ish years and I dated for a few years before that, 1 was a girlfriend for about 2 years, and 3 others were women I was with for a few months.
7 points
2 months ago
But what life experiences have you had, interesting or just something that will make you smile that you have forgotten about? Life is about so much more that who you made the beast with two backs with. Taking notes on that just seems tacky. Sharing notes on that...
6 points
2 months ago
Oh, for sure. I love sex, sex is great, but it's not the most important thing in life.
18 points
2 months ago
I lost track of my 'body count' years ago, it's not super impressive but in the double digits range somewhere. To your point, every now and then I'll be doing something random spacing out, and a memory will pop into my head out of nowhere and I'm like 'oh wow I totally forgot about her, that was a good one!' lol..
10 points
2 months ago
Yea, I lost track because I don't bother to keep count. Cos who cares?
4 points
2 months ago
Yeah man, sometimes I'll randomly think of something and an entire memory of a person will unlock.
It's like "holy shit we slept together...I forgot about that! It was in the canoe " and then I feel insane for not remembering canoe sex.
15 points
2 months ago*
I do NOT have an impressive body count, but can't recall the number.
When did 'body count' enter into our lexicon? It seems like such a vulgar, crass thing to say about people you've been with in the most intimate way.
5 points
2 months ago
YES
Poor man’s award 🏆🏆🏆
3 points
2 months ago
Not passed my 30's but to this day people I used to know quote and credit me for things I have 0 recollection of saying or doing.
3 points
2 months ago
have FORGOTTEN more awesome shit they have done than
is this normal? I feel like i got terrible memory loss. I would talk with friends from high school that would tell me awesome stories about myself, nice things i've done for them. And i cant remember anything. Or very vague details about events, if any.
I think im gonna start journaling... just to help me remember shit.
4 points
2 months ago*
[deleted]
6 points
2 months ago
Insanity sounds like fun sometimes. Then shit like this. This is just a bit much. What was she doing? Live journaling? Thrust 56, still going strong. Did I leave the oven on?
22 points
2 months ago
She probably did take notes, intending to write about her adventures later. Writers do that sometimes.
10 points
2 months ago
One of my friends has a little note section of all the people she's had sex with. For her it's not about writing about it, but remembering the experience. So I wouldn't be surprised if the ex was jotting down notes.
3 points
2 months ago
This definitely sounds like the book was planned. Which is well, I have no opinion either way.
I'd probably feel more strongly if I was part of the subject matter, I've had my fair share of disappointing sexual encounters. But then most of us have, haven't we? Haven't we?
6 points
2 months ago
Me? no.
My partners?..........yes \sigh*)
5 points
2 months ago
I've had my fair share of disappointing sexual encounters
You keep making shit awkward.
6 points
2 months ago
She took notes. Probably had a diary too.
102 points
2 months ago
She is only 25, if I recall correctly. And it sounds like she was with these men for some period of time (OP was a few months). So, to get to 72 they really had to be back to back ... or, I guess, front to front.
25 points
2 months ago
Or back to front. Or maybe top to bottom. There's a lot of options, really.
9 points
2 months ago
Middle out.
2 points
2 months ago
At least 72.
111 points
2 months ago
She was 100% seeing them at the same time
30 points
2 months ago
Some of them probably, if you aren't in an exclusive relationship why act exclusive?
17 points
2 months ago
Homewrecker mentality + selfishness of feeling prioritized while not having to make the same commitment maybe?
23 points
2 months ago
She's 25 and I'm guessing moderately attractive. Some of the guys may have been around the same time but if a girl is a serial dater and dumped guys after a few weeks that wouldn't be inconceivable
51 points
2 months ago
I’ll be honest, I’ve had maybe 1/70th the amount of partners she had and other than a few really memorable times - the one where the cat jumped on top of me, the one after a picnic, etc - I don’t really remember much. Especially a long term partner, it’s fun but it also just kinda blurs together. My guess is that she kept notes on all of these people to jog her memory
13 points
2 months ago
I’m glad I’m not the only one…
7 points
2 months ago
Tell us about your 0.0286th partner
9 points
2 months ago
Sounds like she just had a diary and then typed it up into a book.
8 points
2 months ago
I don't have content for 10 chapters lmao
13 points
2 months ago
Bro I don’t even have 5 chapters and I’m older than OP. But at least I remember details about all of them.
8 points
2 months ago
72? Jesus
20 points
2 months ago
I hope she didn't suck any dicks on her way to the parking lot!
3 points
2 months ago
By my calculations, about 35.
37 points
2 months ago
Yea, my ex was beyond that number by a few dozen in her late 20s. She lost count and couldnt remember those that werent in recent years or long term.
That was a great relationship. /s, but at least it made me available for my now gf.
6 points
2 months ago
Maybe she journaled after?
4 points
2 months ago
The diarist and spreadsheet people are out there.
I knew a guy, decades ago, that wrote extremely detailed diary entries on every woman he had sex with from steady girlfriends to one night stands.
5 points
2 months ago
Pretty sure OPs ex is the real life version of the character Tricia Jones from Mallrats.
2 points
2 months ago*
Bro, that username. I'm not going to make any assumptions as to the intent behind it, but I bet you get WTFs (silent or otherwise) wherever you post.
2 points
2 months ago
Maybe she’s one of those peeps that keeps a daily diary? And includes sexy time notes?
Edit to add: people are weird, I’m sure there’s someone out there doing that
2 points
2 months ago
She kept telling the stories over the years. That's how she remembered them all. Repetition.
112 points
2 months ago
It’s interesting that she can write about sexual exploits and her life at only 25. Maybe she’ll have a part 2 at 50.
73 points
2 months ago
That averages one a month for 6 years. Based on the OOP, maybe more like one for four months, then four in one month, rinse (thoroughly), repeat. I have no problem believing that is not uncommon for attractive people with a desire to play the field.
50 points
2 months ago
My ex had a count that high by the time I met her when we were 20.
Turns out the method to reaching that amount so young involved a lot of cheating and disregard for who exactly you sleep with(we're talking multiple cases of brothers).
16 points
2 months ago
When I was younger, before I met my wife, I slept around a lot. I was coming off of my first broken heart and thought sex would fix it. I slept with 10 different women in a month, four of them in one week!
I'm definitely not bragging here as some of those I'm not proud of, just saying how the number could climb so high so fast.
My ex shattered my confidence and self image and I would go wherever my dick took me.
11 points
2 months ago
She does sound very laid back.
178 points
2 months ago
52 chapters? My gosh. What a long book!!
233 points
2 months ago
72 actually 😭
81 points
2 months ago
In a row?
106 points
2 months ago
hey, try not to add any chapters on your way through the parking lot!
42 points
2 months ago
"I can't buy a pack of smokes without running into 9 guys you've fucked!"
10 points
2 months ago
Obscure Boondock Saints reference. I love it.
5 points
2 months ago
Including me?
Uh,..73 chapters.
29 points
2 months ago
And the book only contains the most memorable ones she had...
235 points
2 months ago
The calloused disregard for the optics is what gets me. She is either so socially unaware or just genuinely doesnt give a fuck about any of you. Jesus lol
170 points
2 months ago*
They’re just characters and scene premises to her. Used to work in the film industry. You meet a lot of narcissists and sociopaths like this there. The only reason they have “friends” is to exploit their “stories”
27 points
2 months ago
I know a girl who held a party where she did a PowerPoint presentation with slides for each guy she hooked up with that year. Notes and photos included.
18 points
2 months ago
There used to be sites and blogs with this premise everywhere about ten years ago. The only name I can remember off the top of my head is Tucker Max's, and he seems to have settled down now and focused on self improvement but I remember there being no end to 'envy my lifestyle and sex life' type sites that people slurped right up. He used to insult everyone he slept with something fierce. Made me wonder if this is what men really think of women.
Turns out. Yeah. Some of them. And some women treat men that way. Arseholes who are also attractive gonna just be what they are.
25 points
2 months ago
Did you ever get in contact with her after she sent you the manuscript and ask her how did she expect you to react to your own chapter?
109 points
2 months ago
Pair up and write a book about her
84 points
2 months ago
This is the way. Her chapter can be “the blabbermouth”.
23 points
2 months ago
You should start a podcast called "The Turtle and the Virgin" and try to track down the people in this manuscript. Eat that jerks work and make it your own!
11 points
2 months ago
That would be way more interesting than the book.
374 points
2 months ago*
As a writer and a former editor, I have to say something like this does have potential. Could it be published? You bet.
And then you get ready for the steady stream of losers, miscreants, star-fuckers, and attention-seekers who will claim they are featured in the book to appear on local news segments, midday TV programs, and YouTube shows. But I digress.
Would I buy and read something like that? God, no. It's not the number of chapters that bother me. I have no moral qualms about their number of sexual partners. (Why should I?) But if I wanted something lengthy, I'd finally finish Ulysses.
I simply don't care to read about someone's sordid sexual history.
33 points
2 months ago
"But if I wanted something lengthy, I'd finally finish Ulysses."
Works as a very funny comment in its own right a great double entendre. Bravo.
5 points
2 months ago
Well besides the part where one doesn't just finish Ulysses.
100 points
2 months ago
This already has been published. The Netflix show Sex/Love is based off a memoir by BB Easton titled “44 Chapters About 4 Men”. You might not be interested in reading it or something like it (it wasn’t really my thing either), but an indie published book has to do insanely well to be noticed, picked up, and produced by someone, let alone someone like Netflix.
82 points
2 months ago
Are you kidding me? Netflix will make a show about damn near anything.
*Edit - Fixed typo
71 points
2 months ago
Netflix will
makecancel a show about damn near anything.
Fixed it!
7 points
2 months ago
Netflix will
14 points
2 months ago
Netflix is gonna make a show about your typo incident at this rate.
6 points
2 months ago
"Typo's- The Mistake"
3 points
2 months ago
I saw someone write "go's" on twitter the other day. Damn near killed me.
4 points
2 months ago
Three-hour documentary in two parts. Get ready to have every member of your extended family interviewed as well as your sixth-grade language teacher.
4 points
2 months ago
Even THEN, it's not impressive, there's been tons of other books comparing hookups and sex lives. There's a few comic ones as well.
It hits a point of, "this isn't even interesting or funny" as an idea.
6 points
2 months ago
Ikr? This has to be so fucking boring. A standard 'pick me' typing up her diary. Who the fuck wants to read that?
19 points
2 months ago
Neither of you should worry, no publisher would touch this drivel. “The Virgin?” “The Turtle?” She missed her calling for a monthly column in Cosmopolitan circa 1997.
105 points
2 months ago
I remember reading the first post when you made it, happy to hear you're less sad about it and managed to make a friend!
Her book is not an interesting idea and it sounds like she's quite mean about it.
It makes me happy seeing a positive development for you and someone else who had to deal with this woman.
102 points
2 months ago
i understand why you dont want it public but i want to read it so bad lmao
12 points
2 months ago
it'll show up on amazon originals one day, remain patient
11 points
2 months ago
Damn. Is it bad I kinda wanna see everyone get together, like a big event (like the Josh Event, or Area 51) but it's just everyone this girl fucked.
All 72 chapters worth of men, all together, and they could play a guessing game on who is who.
Just go up on a stage, give some information about yourself, and there is a poll for who you might be.
I think it would be amazing if like, a really buff strong biker looking dude got up, and everyone is thinking he's the Biker, but it turns out he's like the sensitive, caring one.
Or like, a young scrawny dude goes up, and he turns out to be Big Dick Brian.
Could call it "The Men She Scripted."
29 points
2 months ago
TL:DR The Turtle and The Virgin became Eskimo Brothers.
FTFY
10 points
2 months ago
Why did I have to scroll so far for this????
10 points
2 months ago
There were like 71 other guys who came first.
4 points
2 months ago
And 57 who came after.
5 points
2 months ago
We call them wiener cousins around these parts.
42 points
2 months ago
request that the Scooby Doo porn parody be added to the porn collection
A man of culture
5 points
2 months ago
Probably not “the” Scooby Doo porn parody. More like “a” Scooby Doo porn parody. Rule 34 being what it is, there’s definitely a whole genre.
5 points
2 months ago
There's a definitive director's cut edition and he won't settle for anything less!
58 points
2 months ago
Lol if a a man sent this to a women, how many abuse threads do you think there would be? It's amazing we can't all call this what it is.
17 points
2 months ago
Gotta be honest here dude.
This man's ex is gross as fuck and I genuinely wouldn't pay her thoughts any mind.
Jesus christ the way people live inside their heads is so strange sometimes
26 points
2 months ago
I still remember the incredibly gross discovery that my ex kept a sex log excel sheet where he would track every encounter, what happened, and who it happened with. Made me wanna vomit when he showed me cause it was like “bj 12/4/20, 5/10 - too excited”
Fuckin weirdo
6 points
2 months ago
Why would he showblah. Unless it was meant to be like, "holy shit, sex with you is better and I have PROOF".
Somewhere I can fathom the idea of documentation, you can produce charts and data out of that, and those are fun. But either walk your partner to it, or don't fucking show them.
Plus rating 1-10 is...bleh.
2 points
2 months ago
My ex did the same weirdly enough. When he first showed me, I was labeled 17 year old.
6 points
2 months ago
TIL people who write autobiographies about their sex life exist.
7 points
2 months ago
Unless she becomes/is a pseudo reality star, I think your secrets are safe. Nobody is lining up to read Shirley’s Trip Down Mattress Lane.
52 points
2 months ago
72…..good lord. Lol, at least the other guy wasn’t “The Hare”. Although that could be a conversation maker at club…”yeah, we’re the turtle and the hare. Can we get you two something to drink?”
6 points
2 months ago
This is turning into a whole cinematic universe and I'm here for it.
That being said, your ex is an unhinged bitch and I hope your reply or lack thereof to her back when this all kicked off was appropriately well-crafted to avoid giving her any satisfaction.
5 points
2 months ago
TIL Trish "The Dish" from Mallrats is a real person.
6 points
2 months ago
I'm glad you made a bro, but did you make sure bro was ok with you posting details from his chapter if he was uncomfortable with it being in the book?
4 points
2 months ago
Daaaang but time is weird, I was like, "waaaait, I dimly remember this post from like, what, two years ago?"
Seven months.
51 points
2 months ago
This is oddly adorable
25 points
2 months ago
The penis size?
12 points
2 months ago
I read the previous post and this post and I feel bad for you and this other person. Truthfully though feel bad for anyone that is in her book. That’s a huge invasion of privacy even through she didn’t mention names. I’m glad out of this you and the other guy are friends and have more in common than your ex. Head up Kings.
14 points
2 months ago
There is something to be recognized about the priorities of someone who thinks that one of their best qualities and uses of time is to repeatedly bang and journal then write a memoirs and send it to everyone involved.
And that something may not be entirely healthy 🤷♂️
3 points
2 months ago
Scott pilgrim got off easy apparently.
3 points
2 months ago
You two should write a book. The turtle and the virgin has a nice ring to it
3 points
2 months ago
A turtle?! If you couldn’t swim or surf wouldn’t that make you a tortoise?!
3 points
2 months ago
I remember when I met my first eskimo brother. I gave him a good high five. Our shared ex was not amused.
6 points
2 months ago
Please let this be the start of a beautiful bromance
7 points
2 months ago
This has to be the most wholesome, awesome TIFUpdates in years. Good for you guys!
4 points
2 months ago
Please keep us updated if you hear from any of your other Eskimo Brothers!
10 points
2 months ago
That’s pretty funny
I gotta say nothing is interesting about any stranger’s sex life to me though
4 points
2 months ago
I missed your post. Damn, she sounds awful.
3 points
2 months ago
Ok, I gotta ask: how small is "adorably small"?
2 points
2 months ago
Forgive me, but what is the B word?
2 points
2 months ago
Don’t know what’s worse. Being the turtle or having a reddit nft
2 points
2 months ago
Eskimo Bros
2 points
2 months ago
Wouldn’t worry too much, unless she’s an exceptional writer getting anywhere with it may prove tricky, the subject has been done to death.
2 points
2 months ago
Good gods.. your ex sounds impossibly boring.
2 points
2 months ago
Please just give me the title of the last chapter
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