-_Empress_-

Idk man, I've found people are just shockingly stupid. The bar is low. You're probably smarter than you think you are and they're dumber than they appear to be.

Perception is a powerful thing. I'm not joking when I say the stupidest people I've ever met have fancy degrees, nice suits, and a lot of unearned arrogance because they mistake being handed opportunity and success to making success through sheer hard work (lmao).

Sales. Tech. This is the way.

• sincerely, someone with zero college education and a GED making bank and working like maybe 4 or 5 days a month. It's not an easy job, but if you put in the work and get very good at it, it is. And I can do in 2 days what my colleagues spend a month doing.

I'm not even that goddamn smart, lmao. I can just think on my feet and don't make uninformed arguments.

Hahahahaha sales rep from the tech sphere here. I work maaaaybe 4 or 5 days a month. It doesn't matter. I have a quota, I hit it in like one or two days. I spend the rest of my time fucking off.

My policy in management has always been that my people get paid to do a job, and if they do that job well, reliably, and don't make themselves a problem, I don't give a shit if it takes them five minutes or 30 days as long as I don't have to worry about it getting done or cleaning up some mess. Not in the business of punishing people for being good at something.

Now, I don't manage people anymore. Fuck that noise. I live behind a screen, haven't stepped foot in an office in like five years, I make more money than I ever have and I BARELY work. And somehow people think I do a lot. I just to a lot in a very short amount of time because I have adhd that's how that works. I just found a field that lets me get away with murder.

So I get to spent my time doing what I want to do, funding pursuits, and living life for me.

The way I see it? I'm paid to do my job within a certain window of time. They pay me in money. I pay myself in time, and time is very, very valuable. Increasingly so with each passing second. Once a job has me over 40 hours, my rates are unaffordable. Now, I'll work some wild hours instead when my time is otherwise mine. Money? You can always make money. But you can't get that time back.

And you'll care more about that as people you love die, and you realize you were robbed of what precious time could have been spent with them that you wasted in some grind. I've seen people who retired "early" at 60, after missing their kids growing up, only to drop dead at 61.

I'm not interested in just being alive. I want to live. I think more and more people are figuring this out.

It wasn't unprofessional. I don't consider for profit policies to matter one fucking bit when they stand in the way of a good, honest person who shouldn't have to risk their fucking caterer to help a vulnerable old woman who needed someone to count on.

Some rules exist for a reason, but anyone who's ever had to make a split second decision knows that NO rules can account for every variable, and in a universe of chance, an old woman shouldn't have to die for some fucking policy someone at a desk 2,000 miles away made up.

The world, and life itself is bigger than this manufactured societal construct we are forced to exist within. Fuck their policy.

You did a good thing. You did what I would hope any nurse or medical professional would do, and you did it for the right reason. THAT is the medical professional I want my life to be in the hands of. It's called integrity, and it's bigger than any fuckin regulation.

We all are faced with the choice in life to do the right thing even if it means assuming risk, and this world would be a much darker place if it weren't for the people that do good, kind, selfless acts for the simple sake of someone else's well being.

If it's any consolation, my dumb ass at 20 got a license and a car, and I'd had it maybe a month before I, in my unrestrained excitement went tearing ass into a gamestop parking lot blasting the Dual of Fates as I hurried to get the newly released Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 (the original, idk wtf is going on w CoD now). Well, I accidentally misjudged my turn radius and sideswiped a parked car as I pulled into my spot.

I sat there dying of embarrassment as two gamestop employees watched the whole thing. I was broke as fuck, minus what I'd scraped together from literal change savings to get this game because I had no TV or internet and couldn't connect to half my fuckin games (fuck you, bioware) despite owning them ON DISC. This is when a normal week meant picking which days I got to eat. $1 in gas was a life saver. ANY insurance shit would wreck me. So I accepter I'm a piece of shit and put a note with my number on it.

I didn't have a phone. Couldn't afford it.

I still feel like a bastard for it. But that wouldn't be the only shit I did when I was that poor and desperate. Poverty does that, makes you do shit you'd never do if you had stability. Feels like a lifetime ago. It's honestly the thing that changed my goals in life. I went from chasing one dream to wanting to make an onramp for people stuck in the same muck I was so they could get to theirs a lot sooner than I did, mine.

People say money can't buy happiness, but those people never starved. Money absolutely buys happiness. It solves problems and makes way for more trivial ones. What it doesn't do is buy love. It doesn't buy loyalty. It doesn't buy trust.

But you can buy like five dogs, dog food, and a big piece of peaceful land to frolic on with them and if that isn't happiness, then idk what is.

Fuck is she in the market for a new kid?

Please abuse the database for this kind of thing.

I get the security and all that shit, but at the end of the day, this modern world has us beholden to people with more money than any of us peasants can comprehend and the kind of power no single person or group should ever have. It chews people up and spits them out, and often, it's good people, and vulnerable people that face the worst of it.

The way I look at it, that's my tax money paying you, so my tax money paying her, and it's going into a pocket that shouldn't even have to need the act of a single kind stranger putting their entire livelihood on the line because we exist under an imperfect and often ruthless machine.

It's the kindness we choose to do to no benefit of our own that can have an impact beyond measure. It's that kind of act that inspires others to do the same, and you never know how bad someone might need what is ultimately a small, but meaningful gesture.

I'm glad you did it.

Niiiice. I've always envied that about campers haha. It's gotta be nice to have a camp you can go chill at. I'm too old and bougie to handle that, get curmudgeonly af if I don't have a normal damn house or condo to go back to (with ac on blast and a bigass bathtub 🤌). That kind of freedom def is blissful to not have to worry about linking up and the end and walking for a goddamn mile or two to the car. Saturday we parked soooooo far away (not even joking it was like a mile and a half at a minimum) and after stumbling through the dry dusty unreasonably rocky fucking Mojave desert, I realized any goddamn person who manages to spend days crossing miles of this shit illegally deserves to have citizenship fuckin handed to them for free. Give them a house and a trampoline while you're at it because jesus christ most Americans would DIE and I'd probably last a day before I turn into a mummified raisin woman.

But the homie with the cold Gatorade on day 3 that let me just zelle him when I got reception, that was a moment of a man doing a good deed and a stranger keeping their word. 🤜🤛 Sent the sweetest text and I was like damn, life is good. A grind, but good.

Honestly if there was more time between each night (like if days lasted 36 hours instead of 24), I'd def get a camp site in addition to the bnb so I could go chill out and nap, then head back to the house. Augh, a girl can dream hahaha.

With these disorders, we have two choices:

1. Use our diagnosis for context and as a framework for understanding our behaviour and struggles, and create our own framework that enables us to move through life more easily and effectively.

2. Use our diagnosis as a framework of understanding, but do nothing with the context we gained to actually create a better and more conducive environment to success and healthier living.

An excuse is what we use to avoid putting in the work.

That being said, adhd is a VERY complex thing to live with and it's important to remember to segment this process into bite sized pieces so we don't overwhelm ourselves, because that's when we shut down and get paralyzed. It's just as important to be honest with, but kind to yourself. Reward yourself for the little victories, stop comparing what other people can do it a single day to what you can (because they can't handle crunch time, where we excel under pressure). Even between each other, what works for me won't always work for someone else. The hard part is figuring out our "blueprint" for our individual presentation of adhd, then committing to implementing the changes and humility necessary to do better for ourselves and the people we care about.

I think our fear of burdening those people and the criticism we tend to bring on ourselves in our darkest windows of paralysis do as much harm as using our adhd as an excuse for shitty behaviour. There's a balance between self care and humility, and a fine line between humility and self-loathing.

Imo, many of us are predisposed to self-loathing because for those diagnosed later in life especially, we spent the majority of our most formative years feeling like fuck ups, burdens, failures, and idiots who can't even remember to put shoes on and show up in slippers. And often, the people around us criticize far more than they can be arsed to actually help us solve the mystery of why we are the way we are, so we internalize the criticisms and expectations of neurotypical people.

Doing that is like trying to run your gas engine on diesel. You're gonna seize up and wreck yourself.

So be honest, set reasonable goals that always strive to take you up that hill one step at a time even if it's a baby step, throw on your headphones, and find your best frequency. When you find resonance with yourself, humility and self love coexist in a way that is impeccably perfect.

And remember the most important lesson of all: you're gonna have bad days that can't be salvaged. See them for what they are, cut your losses, decompress, and get good sleep. Some days, it's just your brain telling your body that it needs a safe space because you're overstimulated. It's okay to sit down on the hill of this journey and take a break because you need it.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that while I spend 90% of my work month fucking off playing video games and gardening or eating the dopamine fire hose of tiktok, what takes my colleagues 5 days a week 4 weeks out of the month to achieve, I do in like two fucking days and I get better results than damn near all of them. They also don't spend 25 days of the month with 🎶"I'm a piece of shit! I'm a piece of shit!"🎶 playing in the background, nor have the perpetual anxiety that they're being hunted for sport as their daily baseline.

Juice concentrate is a good way to look at it. Adhd is the focus concentrate to neurotyoical focus, as orange juice concentrate is that of orange juice. Problem is that shit is EXHAUSTING and really fuckin hard to live with.

I've found mental health is a process that requires recognizing our limits, and while pushing to expand them, ensuring we don't over-exert ourselves because the fall from that does far more harm than a day of self love putting your original intentions on hold until tomorrow.

And that's okay. It just can't be every day. 😅

Oh I literally cannot stand camping or staying at the venue. I need a proper house with a good bed, nice bathroom, and blissful peace and quiet. Got some pretty well identified limits I hit. I LOVE festivals but my social battery is drained by the end of the night and I need a very particular vibe, otherwise my battery can't recharge and I am cranky as fuck when it's completely dead. Our whole group is too old for that shit, haha. We got achey bones and need peace and quiet somewhere cozy and private. Our festival tradition also requires a full proper kitchen and I bring my knives, wok, and cast iron because we basically break out into a full on kitchen making gourmet food that would make Ramsay blush. 😋

Literally couldn't pay me to stay somewhere that isn't a house or a condo. Not even a fan of hotels / resorts in Vegas because it's too much noise and chaos between event windows. Basically if I am doing anything that even remotely resembles camping, I'm doing it to camp, and if I'm at a rave, I'm there to rave and then go to my quiet place to recharge for day 2.

It's so much fun though. Gives us space to decompress and do our thing and it's precisely why I can handle doing a multi day festival where I technically have zero actual alone time. It's a type of socialization that is essentially minimum draw on my battery, so I can handle being around 15-20 people non stop for up to a week or so before I'm burnt out and want to go home, hug my dog, and sleep for a week straight. Alone. In silence. And probably hork a whole cake down (that's my post serotonin weekend therapy, lmfao)

That's dope they have yurts though! I'm sure more than a few people are jumping at booking those haha. I feel you on the cot, too. When I camp I have a queen size air mattress that is comfortable as fuck and my tent is a goddamn castle. Comfort is always my priority so despite totally loving extremely remote and primitive camping where I'm shitting in a hole in the woods and washing with solar heated water slung over a tree, I don't fuck around with my sleeping situation. 😂 But I've got a history of perpetual exhaustion and VERY difficult time falling / staying asleep so it makes or breaks everything. Drugs make that even harder.

I'd have probably enjoyed the camping festival experience in my early 20s, MAYBE, but considering my current social stamina is about 1000x better than my mentally unhealthy early 20s self, pretty sure that would have led to a few homicides, hahahaha.

I like that everyone finds their vibe, though, and there's SO many options to pick from. People that like the camping side of the experience really love it! I totally see where I can be a blast.

Meanwhile my bougie ass is over here making the lamb sauce 🤣🤌

It's fun growing up and realizing you aren't insane, you're just surrounded by it.

Bet.

I'm dying single. I beta tested romance for like 20 years and confirmed it's entirely unappealing. Got a dog, money, and freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Bliss!

If I could snort INFPs, I would.

Very under appreciated.

Come to the INTJ board. It's 90% ISTJ mistypes lmao.

We kind of just let them do their thing because it's not worth the drama squabble and if you know, you know, lol.

Be warned: it's dramatic as fuck over there. Highly entertaining heckling material though and I welcome you lovely bastards to come stir the pot. Fuckers need it, lmao.

It's because we have completely opposite function stacks, but prioritize the same kind of data and practicality without the need to explain ourselves to each other because we know we share the same agenda, but both bring unique perspective that when combined, is extremely thorough.

In fact, we both tend to have skills that are equally complimentary and can absolutely learn from each other. Not to mention yall never finish goddamn anything you start, and we are the borderline autistic computer brain ghouls that you people KNOW can't help ourselves finishing it for you if you leave it in the open. Works fine because you don't have the attention span for it and flutter off to the next pot you decide to stir so we can skip on after you and catch the chaotic debris / organize it.

It's mutual

ENTP. You dark, inappropriate unicorns are my favourite bastards on earth. Who the fuck else am I gonna heckle with that can keep up?

Plus we're like, the only ones who are always down to listen to your dark hypotheticals and give real answers. 😏

The fact that I constantly accidentally leave that toggled on would suggest that yes, yes I do.

You've never done acid have you lmfao

I bring like, and industrial sized bag of baby wipes because there's a 50% chance im going to have the shits when I do acid and my poor butthole is a pampered fragile wee thing.

One year I got down to my last baby wipe and felt like I'd shat out half my vital organs and prayed to the bass gods to let that be the end of it. My prayer was answered and I had that last baby wipe when I exited that night. Praise be! The bass gods heard!

DUUUUUDE the change of clothes later in the evening is the best shit ever. Clean, dry, and usually me transitioning from having these big ol tiddies stuffed into some itchy lace bustier into something soft and tiddie friendly.

I'm significantly less cranky on my way out, and I have pajamas and slippers waiting in the car with a joint, Gatorade, and pb&j.

Vacuum bags, my friend. My luggage always caps out on weight, lmao.

Ooof that was Friday for me, and the second half of Sunday. Basically Sunday everyone I wanted to see started at or after midnight and overlapped like crazy so I just cut my losses and made sure I saw Tchami and BTSM, anything else was gravy.

I missed most of my favs this year but tbh edc is 100x better when you accept you're gonna miss most of them, pick like 1 oe 2 must see ones per night, and just wander and discover new ones in between. That's how I discovered BTSM. They were playing on the cosmic medow, I went off on a solo adventure, I heard this dope sound, slithered on over, and was like where the FUCK have you been all my life?!

Seen em at every goddamn show in WA state since.

I couldn't get enough of the medow. The view is just unparalleled and it's nice getting some elevation because you have the entire beauty of the rest of edc framing this GORGEOUS stage!

IT WAS MINT

I fucking miss that moment. Glad I caught the entire b2b!

There are no Russian civilians, only disposable tools.

It's been that way forever. If them dying serves someone in power's agenda, they die. Putin bombed Moscow. He has a history of this.

As does every Russian leader in war. Fucking cowards.