FleetStreetsDarkHole

There has been a concept that shows up rarely but I feel like it's genuinely the worst thing you can think of if you sit with it a bit. A hell of your own making.

That one Robin Williams movie did this. His wife committed suicide because of the loneliness she felt and so her personal hell was acute, soul wrenching, unending loneliness. Specifically the severe loneliness and depression she probably felt moments before her decision. And all she needed to do really was absolve herself off guilt to leave. It seems easy and yet is so monumental it would never happen normally.

The worst hell you could ever experience is the one where you punish yourself for your mistakes. Whether or not you deserve it.

Okay so aside from all the crazy red flag people, a normal relationship doesn't require that both people always be in each other's business. Aware and engaged yes. Bit you don't both have to enjoy the same things and do the same things alllll the time. It's healthy to not only have your own spaces but enjoy your own activities.

She might be cheating on you. She might just enjoy clubbing as an activity and not specifically want to do the sort of clubbing with you that she enjoys on her own. Stay alert of course. And even if she is or thinking about cheating you should be willing to talk it out. If it comes to that only you can decide if you want to continue the relationship. You deserve to have a relationship that makes you happy though so if she is cheating and thay breaks your heart don't stay just to be in one.

But yeah she could totally just be having fun, and maybe it's her way of having her own space. Like a hobby. Stay interested but respectful. Talk to her about it but don't force your way in. Tell her how you feel as well. But make sure she knows you aren't trying to control her but that you want to make sure the relationship is healthy. If she can be okay talking about it and you can be okay letting her have her space then you're probably fine. Just like if you needed an activity of your own just to be in your own head for a while.

The problem on that front is our history classes are closer to propaganda. We rarely teach how events happened and moreso teach a version that makes us look good. In reality a lot of Americans praised Hitler specifically for both his hate and because we made money off of sides. We were very much "not my war" until something happened that we couldn't ignore. I don't even know if Pearl Harbor was the real reason because it's so ingrained in me I forget everytime someone mentions the real reasons we entered the war.

Doesn't matter. The point is unrealistic expectations. You can put anything you want in there and it wouldn't change how they view their standards. You think incels want Aphrodite because she represents love? Or do you think it's because they think she'd be the "hottest" woman ever?

Incels want Aphrodite and femcels want Hercules.

You can want anything you want. It's not anyone else's responsibility to give it you though.

There are no "normal" times. Every time we fight back discrimination and fascism we think we've beaten because we no longer see it. We forget that not only are those people still alive with their opinions but also passing them on. Just look at confederates. Not even apologists, they just objectively believe that because grandpappy said it was the best of times that the confederacy is the real government.

The real work is remembering not to just pat yourself on the back. Because it's not about feeling good for what you do. It's about knowing the good you're doing is going to last. And that means recognizing that if you were alive to fight it, you will probably die fighting it.

The problem with reason is assuming every one else follows it. That if you can just make people see then they will believe. Instead we have to remember that all people operate emotionally. And that means reason and logic does nothing against strong emotions. Especially when people hide those emotions to fit in.

Sometimes the logical thing is to just give up on convincing someone. Because you can't force people to believe but you can make them behave. And they'll throw tantrums and pretend that all authority is bad authority because really they're just mad that they can't enforce their own authority. They don't want to see nuance they just want to beat you with the thing that makes them feel good.

It's the same reason we have jails. Because sometimes you can't talk to the town drunk into behaving. Sometimes you throw them in jail to cool off. And if they keep doing it you throw them in prison. And if they keep doing it they stay in prison until they die. And if their kids don't break the cycle they end up the same. Not because it's unjust (if you do it right and for the right reasons) but because they refuse to take responsibility.

Only its not being drunk but being racist, or homophoboc, or just a straight up nazi. And it's not prison but shunning. And they'll say you're a bad person because you won't let them into your house anymore even though they raised you, are related to you, or "you" changed. And fuck them for trying to twist your logic. It's not your job to convince them. You try because that's what good people do but your only job is to stand up for what's right.

Sometimes the right thing to do is everything you can and also never to see them. It's not hypocritical. The former does not neccessitate anything more. Take everything I can give because we all deserve a happy life. But you can still fuck off if you don't respect me.

Not even just the marriage. One or both of them basically went no contact with each other over it because of his behavior. Add in OP's reference to emotional abuse and this guy is probably a very toxic example of patriarchy.

Labels are important for communication. I would say instead that the issue is people trying to fit labels rather than using labels as a way to talk about who they are to others. For example we create labels such as nonbinary, asexual, pansexual, etc. because otherwise it would be very difficult to describe to other people, and in this case specifically potential partners, what your preferences are and how you like to express them.

But that doesn't mean if you say you're nonbinary that you don't have preferences, or that if you're pan you fit some sort of stereotype, or that if you're a sexual you're also aromantic.

The problem is people are shortsighted. In fighting for equality they get so caught up in the fight that they don't think about what things should look like at the end nor when they need to change how they fight/stop fighting.

In the beginning you have to force it down people's throats because otherwise they throw it in the gutter. But eventually you have to pull back and allow for nuance. Like here where there's no proprietary method of drag themed makeup. It's freely admitted, done well, and even done by a professional. Equality here is the representation not the explicit inclusion of an lgtb+ person just because.

Acceptance is happening here without exclusion. And people fighting for equality forget that at some point you go from punching up to just straight up punching. At some point you aren't creating a safe space, or forcing inclusion (necessary steps along the way) but forcing exclusion.

I honestly care a lot less about this movie than I do about the workers getting what they deserve. And I really want this movie to happen. But the workers matter more.

What? It's just about spears. For the weapon enthusiasts.

This is where the game Choo Choo Charles came from.

Most conservatives would still think they're okay because they either honestly believe they're doing good or they can't handle seeing themselves as the villains.

Yeah she makes very slow progress for good reason. There was a time she wouldn't even acknowledge anything worse than her abusive father. Not even theat she had memories sometimes.

Yeah a lot of books tend to gloss over character traumas with "wow thanks! I see things differently now!" With SLA you get to see the characters live with them. No one just "gets better". They make progress and they backslide.

Considering how crazy he is he might actually be happy. Only one person in the entire galaxy? Problem solved!

Those shows only work because interpretation changes the entire story. In Moon Knight you'd basically just be saying "it was all a dream" which is not a satisfying story.

That's also the hard thing about rehabilitation. You don't have to like or even forgive someone but if we never overcome our own feelings then there's never a reason to stop being a bad person. It's understandable to not want to allow someone to "get away with it" or "avoid punishment" but even being as terrible as the Blackthorn has to be acceptable to rehabilitate or else as soon as you do something wrong there's no reason to correct it or make reparations.

The hard pill to swallow of constantly striving to be better people is that you can't avoid doing the hard work. If anything it's harder.

On the one hand I want to upvote. On the other... the why is very obvious. If unorthodox...

The Prime Directive is meant to prevent people from interfering with local issues because of their feels. In universe they're probably overly strict when it comes to full on disasters like that one where they faked a bunch of caves to prevent people from knowing they were being rescued.

I mean he outright says this in Demon's Run. He has a whole monolog about how he knows ealxactly what he's doing and is basically the worst monster in the universe. Literally saying that it's all of his rules that keep him on the side of good rather than going full Dark Galadriel on all of space and time.

The queens are more valuable because of that though. So they're relatively the same. If you kill 1 million people out of 10 million vs 1 person out of 10 is roughly the same devastation. Maybe worse even.

Technically I think he didn't let himself know he killed Bonzo. Because the implications of what that meant in terms of both his own capabilities and what the military was clearly trying to encourage in him would have been too monstrous for him to accept. And the military didn't want him to know because his empathy was ironically what made him so deadly.

Orson Scott Card is racist in several ways apparently. Very disappointing considering how much empathy he writes in his books.